I want to live my Best Life and I want my clients and friends to live THEIR Best Life… and so I’ve been doing a lot of “deep” inner work… I’ve invested time and money to work more with my family therapist (the kind with a couch), with a new coach, and with Steve Chandler the Godfather of coaching and his school.
Your Best Life comes maybe more from inside than from outside. THINGS won’t make you happy if you aren’t already happy. We all know that at some level yet we still chase anymore..
So to today’s thought… “Thou shall not Covet”
If you’re cringing because of a bad experience growing up with a school teaching nun or something….just hold on.
Covet means to “yearn to possess or have something” according to a quick google search.
The phrase thou shall not covet is one of the Christian 10 commandments but I’m guessing other faith traditions have similar beliefs or “recommendations”.
I’ll share my experience of this from the Christian tradition since that is my understanding and lense on the world.
I used to read this like this – If I want what someone else (especially another guy) has, then it is wrong and I should be ashamed and I should stop it and what is wrong with me and I should be grateful for what I have and ultimately…it is a Sin and maybe I’ll be judged and go to hell.
Lately though, I’ve realized that a lot of the commandments and recommendations and shalls and shall nots of the Bible and other faith traditions are more about my higher power God saying to me…. “I love you and I want you to be happy. So follow these recommendations as much as you can and you’ll be more happy and you’ll prosper right where you are at!”
If I Covet…. and look at what someone else has or what I don’t have… I tend to not be “PRESENT”…. I tend to not be in the moment and enjoying what is happening now. I live a life of dissatisfaction, low level resentment, irritability and discontent.
If I stop wanting what I don’t have or what other people have, my mind clears and I’m actually MORE free to create from where I am planted and in the moment. I’m more likely to be able to create more abundance, more happiness and I’m able to enjoy this moment and be grateful.
Yesterday I was with a good friend who has also been a client – I’ve served as his coach and I’ve served his team. He and his wife invited my family and I to their lake house. We had such a GREAT day – we laughed, we rode on their boat, we jumped off the roof of the boat building, swam, talked, ate great food. Their lake house is BEAUTIFUL and made of wonderful materials that I so appreciated the quality of and weight of.
We took a ride around the lake and looked at more houses and docks and setups.
It was so fun. My friend and his wife obviously took great pleasure and joy in just sharing their place.
Guess what? I don’t have a lake side dock house. I don’t have a nice boat like that. I don’t have a house like I saw as I cruised the lake shore. My home doesn’t have a faucet that you simply touch to turn it off and on. I don’t have so many things that he does or the people around the lake have.
Lately I’ve been watching my thoughts. Like really observing them as though I’m an outsider looking in. The ability to do this has come from the inner work I’ve been doing plus meditation for 5-10 minutes each day, yoga, spiritual study and from Great coaching by my coach! I’ve learned to pause and see my thoughts and realize they are just thoughts. The thoughts are what create my feelings of happiness or unhappiness. I can turn the dial and turn them up and down.
Because I’ve been watching my thoughts – yesterday I could see the seeds of formation of thoughts like “I’ll bet my wife wants a boat.” “My wife must think he’s a better man than me.” “I really want to have a dock house”…. but they all just floated away and I didn’t attach to them.
Katherine and the kids and I drove home happily chattering about what a great day it was and how good the steaks were and how beautiful the lake is, and how nice our friends are.
Thou shall not covet is not a commandment to make me feel ashamed if coveting starts to rise up. It is a commandment to say “I love you and there is abundance in the world to participate in and if you stay present and enjoy it vs. wanting other things, then life will be so much better and so much more fun.”
If we are happier, I think our businesses can be better. I think we can create from a place of absolute freedom and happiness. I think we can come up with even better ideas and we will have more energy. Fear, worry, discontent can be minimized.
We can enjoy and live in today!
I hope this helps just one person.
If you care to chat more about it, just reply and we’ll schedule a short or long conversation. I’m all about helping you grow both inside and outside!